Mommy Milestone. Come Linkup!

As a first time mommy, I spend a lot of time anticipating and celebrating each and every one of Chazz's milestones. It is an amazing thing to witness. But I'm starting to realize that I have reached a few milestones myself. And they need some celebrating too! {hey, any reason to pop open a bottle of wine!} Here are some of my mommy milestones

- Anxiety. Particularly seperation anxiety! The first couple of times that we left Chazz were really hard for me. But its slowly getting better. This last time, I was a little more relaxed. I didn't feel panic-y or as anxious to get home to him. It felt nice to get out with Roman and not feel guilty or as stressed. Just enjoying our time together was such a relief! I think it is only a matter of time before I'm more comfortable without him.

- Some sort of schedule assymbled. Mostly in hopes of getting our lives back in order. Yes, I realize it will never be the same. And that "order" won't be possible everyday. I can't balance it all (yet!) but my new stay at home mom schedule is working well. And to have a few thing accomplised at the end of the day feels nice!

A few milestones that I'm looking forward to:

- Sleeping. Ever.
Ok but really, him sleeping in his own bed, and someday his own room, will be nice. But nobody is ready for that yet, especially me! He sleeps well on his own for naps, but with him still nursing at night, it is so hard for me to get out of bed, let alone going in another room. I'm hoping that the weeks following our move, we can slowly move him into his own bed.

- Losing the diaper bag. I love love love my diaper bag. Love it! And I am nowhere near being able to give it up. But at some point, it won't be needed. Not having to lug it around all the time will be nice. {I swear, it's worse than a purse. I need a back adjustment!} Maybe a small pack for quick changes, and the bulk of it can be in the car?? Because I'm a "just in case" kind of girl.

There are so many things a mom learns along the way! What Mommy Milestones have you accomplished? What are you still working on? Link up, pour a glass of wine, and lets toast to our success!

Cheers!

Just Doing My Breast. Uhm, Best.

Oh My Gah! I did it! I've nursed my Little Man for 6 months.

6 MONTHS!

I endured the pain. The latching shannanigans. The pinching and scratching! I really didn't think I was going to last this long. And I can't help but be proud. And blessed! It's hard, and I did it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not all high and mighty about BFing. I can't stand the BM vs formula debate. Sure, there are endless benefits to BFing. But it's not for everyone. Feed your baby. Love your baby. Teach your baby. Do that, and your an awesome mom in my book.

And today, I feel like a pretty awesome momma!

Now, I have to throw in my disclaimer: He wasn't exclusively breastfed. He's had formula at 3 different points in his life. The first, he had neonatal low blood sugar at birth, and somewhere along the way, I agreed to give him formula and glucose mixed together. Pfft. This one shouldn't count, because a) Its medical. And b) The nurse druged me. No, really! But that's a different post ;) Anyway. The second was about 6 weeks in. Looking back, it was probably in part due to mild PPD. There were times I just didn't want to feed him. As weird as that sounds, I can't really explain it. I also hated nusing in public or around people... And people were always around! So there was a 3 week period where he had a bottle of formula every couple of days. Then I figured out how to work a pump :) The third, was when a day trip to a nearby town for a concert turned into an all nighter when we got to hang out with the band's singer. Notbraggingatall. When the freezer stash ran out, My Mommy gave him some formula. All in the name of rock n' roll, haha!

Other than that, he's strictly on the boob juice. :)

All in all, I've made it this far, and I'm happy! But now I'm kinda stuck. I had originally planned on weaning at this point. Now I'm not so sure that I want to. Formula is quite spendy, and with Roman being layed off, right now it's not really an option. On top of that, I kinda like nursing my baby He's super snuggly! And cleaning bottles constantly is a pain compared to just popping him in position.

I have a couple things on my mind though. Because you know the first thing everyone is going to ask! They'll all want to know "How long?" And what about my supply? Does it grow with him? No nurse ever tells you about the second six months! Do I need to know anything about long term BFing?? Ahhh, I almost feel like a begginer all over again!

Truth is, I don't know a single answer. Yet. But I'm still excited!!! Cause I did it! Haha, and maybe the rest is just going to have to be up to Chazz!

A Strange And Unnerving Feeling

Roman and I went out last night.
On a date.
Without El Bebe.
For the second time.
EVER...


I really didn't realize how absurd that sounds until I said it out loud. He is almost 6 months old. Aside from 1-2 hour adventures (mostly when my two besties kidnap me in my spit-up stained pj's...), I have gone out without him TWICE!!

Is that some sort of complex??

The first time was my 21st birthday. Chazz was 2 months old, and I was not ready, to say the least. A friend watched him while we went to the bar with Roman's family. I tried not to worry because I knew he was safely snuggled in a bestie's arms. But my stomach was in knots and my anxiety was in high gear. Even after a drink. I broke down and called 45 minutes into what was supposed to be an evening of "bar hopping." I went to one.... and hurried home to snuggle!
My Mom had him that night while we had friends over, but after a couple hours away, I was in a panic, and ready to have him there. Granted, he was only 2 months old, so I didn't expect to be completely comfortable without him.

And last night was the second time. We went to the opening night of EVIL DEAD for a friend's birthday. And this little momma thought ahead! My mom watched him at our house so I could see him the moment we got home. I know, right?! But I made it through the play and even did a little celebrating after. But it didn't take long for the nervous ball in my chest to start pulling on my heart-strings... But I made it 5 hours without him. And I even had fun!

Part of me is starting to wonder if this is a problem! Or I'm just weaning myself from him. Slowly. It is a strange and unnerving feeling to be somewhat without him. Five hours isn't even a full work day! I don't know how workin' mommas do it. I'm sure I would run home to my baby at lunch, and never come back! I mean, when somebody is in your belly for nine months kicking the crap out of your ribs, you really get attached! It should take about that long to feel comfortable away from him, right?

Or will I ever feel ok without him by my side??