Mommy Milestone. Come Linkup!

As a first time mommy, I spend a lot of time anticipating and celebrating each and every one of Chazz's milestones. It is an amazing thing to witness. But I'm starting to realize that I have reached a few milestones myself. And they need some celebrating too! {hey, any reason to pop open a bottle of wine!} Here are some of my mommy milestones

- Anxiety. Particularly seperation anxiety! The first couple of times that we left Chazz were really hard for me. But its slowly getting better. This last time, I was a little more relaxed. I didn't feel panic-y or as anxious to get home to him. It felt nice to get out with Roman and not feel guilty or as stressed. Just enjoying our time together was such a relief! I think it is only a matter of time before I'm more comfortable without him.

- Some sort of schedule assymbled. Mostly in hopes of getting our lives back in order. Yes, I realize it will never be the same. And that "order" won't be possible everyday. I can't balance it all (yet!) but my new stay at home mom schedule is working well. And to have a few thing accomplised at the end of the day feels nice!

A few milestones that I'm looking forward to:

- Sleeping. Ever.
Ok but really, him sleeping in his own bed, and someday his own room, will be nice. But nobody is ready for that yet, especially me! He sleeps well on his own for naps, but with him still nursing at night, it is so hard for me to get out of bed, let alone going in another room. I'm hoping that the weeks following our move, we can slowly move him into his own bed.

- Losing the diaper bag. I love love love my diaper bag. Love it! And I am nowhere near being able to give it up. But at some point, it won't be needed. Not having to lug it around all the time will be nice. {I swear, it's worse than a purse. I need a back adjustment!} Maybe a small pack for quick changes, and the bulk of it can be in the car?? Because I'm a "just in case" kind of girl.

There are so many things a mom learns along the way! What Mommy Milestones have you accomplished? What are you still working on? Link up, pour a glass of wine, and lets toast to our success!

Cheers!

Just Doing My Breast. Uhm, Best.

Oh My Gah! I did it! I've nursed my Little Man for 6 months.

6 MONTHS!

I endured the pain. The latching shannanigans. The pinching and scratching! I really didn't think I was going to last this long. And I can't help but be proud. And blessed! It's hard, and I did it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not all high and mighty about BFing. I can't stand the BM vs formula debate. Sure, there are endless benefits to BFing. But it's not for everyone. Feed your baby. Love your baby. Teach your baby. Do that, and your an awesome mom in my book.

And today, I feel like a pretty awesome momma!

Now, I have to throw in my disclaimer: He wasn't exclusively breastfed. He's had formula at 3 different points in his life. The first, he had neonatal low blood sugar at birth, and somewhere along the way, I agreed to give him formula and glucose mixed together. Pfft. This one shouldn't count, because a) Its medical. And b) The nurse druged me. No, really! But that's a different post ;) Anyway. The second was about 6 weeks in. Looking back, it was probably in part due to mild PPD. There were times I just didn't want to feed him. As weird as that sounds, I can't really explain it. I also hated nusing in public or around people... And people were always around! So there was a 3 week period where he had a bottle of formula every couple of days. Then I figured out how to work a pump :) The third, was when a day trip to a nearby town for a concert turned into an all nighter when we got to hang out with the band's singer. Notbraggingatall. When the freezer stash ran out, My Mommy gave him some formula. All in the name of rock n' roll, haha!

Other than that, he's strictly on the boob juice. :)

All in all, I've made it this far, and I'm happy! But now I'm kinda stuck. I had originally planned on weaning at this point. Now I'm not so sure that I want to. Formula is quite spendy, and with Roman being layed off, right now it's not really an option. On top of that, I kinda like nursing my baby He's super snuggly! And cleaning bottles constantly is a pain compared to just popping him in position.

I have a couple things on my mind though. Because you know the first thing everyone is going to ask! They'll all want to know "How long?" And what about my supply? Does it grow with him? No nurse ever tells you about the second six months! Do I need to know anything about long term BFing?? Ahhh, I almost feel like a begginer all over again!

Truth is, I don't know a single answer. Yet. But I'm still excited!!! Cause I did it! Haha, and maybe the rest is just going to have to be up to Chazz!

Big Boy Means Big Toys

Chazz is growing up way too fast for this momma's liking. His 6 month birthday is right around the corner and I'm in denial. I'm stunned! What happened to my baby?! I never gave him permission to grow up. That oh-so-precious first year is almost half way over... I wish I could slow down time, just to enjoy as it as much as I possibly can. Or rewind and live it again.

Life is a-changin'!
I used to worry if he was getting enough milk. What his cries meant. If his poop was too green!
Now I'm packing away 3-6 outfits.
All of his new toys are 6m+.
I bought The Sippy and about a dozen different feeding contraptions. He even feeds himself bananas in his new mesh feeder.

He's pushing up and scooting.



He's holding himself up and tripoding.




And he's taking to his first sippy like a champ!


As hard as it is to take in, it's exciting to witness all of those connections being made, the lightbulbs, all of the firsts. And it seems that he has a new one to suprise us with every day!

I just know I'll be cherishing these next six months, they can go by so fast.

A Hard Pill to Swallow

Roman and I took Chazz along with us to play Folf at the park with some friends yesterday. (Folf= frisbee golf. I don't know who came up with it or why...)

It didn't take long for me to realize that throwing a folf disk 150 yards with a baby at the hip is IMPOSSIBLE! So Chazz and I headed to the playground.

*Side Note*
I sometimes feel out of place there... I get "side eyed" a lot because
1. Most moms there are twice my age and
2. I still look 16.
So I headed straight for the swings...

I was in need of some cuddles so I just kept Mister Chazz in the sling and hopped on the swing. And just as I thought, he loved it!

It was so nice to hear him laughing. It is a relief for me to see him happy. The last couple days have been hard for me, knowing that he may have limited vision. I'm sick with anxiety, and have too many unanswered questions. It has been a hard pill to swallow.

I keep thinking that he might miss out on all the beauty around him.

Just swinging there, with my son giggling into my chest, was a beautiful moment. It made me realize that he doesn't have to see perfectly to enjoy the world around him. He has been a happy, sweet, bright baby since day one. He is a spitfire like his momma, and I hope he won't let anything stand in his way.

That moment with you is possibly my favorite so far...

Chazz,
My hopes for you are high, as is my pride. Mom can't help but want the best for you. I will try to get through this week in one piece. I want to be your strength when you need it. I want to know all of the answers. I am always in control, but this week has been, and still is, totally out of my hands... But I will fight hard to find answers and pray for strength. You are my handsome, smart, tough little man with a wonderful life ahead of you. Daddy and I will stop at NOTHING but the best for you and love you more than you will ever know!
All of my love,
Mom